Clickege: Late Night Jokes: Rodman to the Rescue?

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Queen Elizabeth is planning to visit the set of “Game of Thrones” next week. She said things are hard to keep track of because everyone keeps dying. And then Prince Charles said, “Not everyone."
Domino's has a new voice-activated iPhone app that will help customers order pizza. You just speak your order into the phone. Or as that's called now, "ordering a pizza."
A new study says Facebook users can be affected by the mood of their friends. For example, if your friend is depressed on Facebook, you'll be depressed. And if they're really happy on Facebook, you'll be even more depressed.
The American Medical Association says that cheerleading should be classified as a sport because of the skill and training that goes into it. Then LeBron's teammates said, “See? We ARE athletes.”

Conan

Boxing champ Floyd Mayweather posted on his Instagram that a half-dressed woman is asking to be disrespected. This from a guy who wears only shorts to work.
Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino — remember him? He was arrested for getting in a fight with his brother at a tanning salon. This marks a disturbing trend in orange-on-orange violence which cannot continue.

The Late Show With David Letterman

You know where it's bad now? Iraq. It was bad and now it's getting worse. Today President Obama said he might have to send in Dennis Rodman.
Iraq is so bad that President Obama phoned Hillary Clinton and asked her if she could start early.
Tomorrow is the 39th anniversary of a movie that we all saw and enjoyed and still enjoy today — "Jaws." The director, of course, Stephen Spielberg — talk about a one-hit wonder!
Sunday night they're broadcasting the annual Daytime Emmy Awards. They have the Prime-Time Emmy awards. These are the Daytime Emmy Awards. Same like with the Nobel Prize. They have the Daytime Nobel Prizes.

The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson

The Critics Choice Awards are on tonight on the CW network. This year the CW network received zero nominations and yet they are showing the award ceremony. It's a bit awkward. It's like having the NBA championships at Kobe Bryant's house.
Happy birthday to my favorite government agency, the FCC. They are 80 years old today. And they behave like every other 80-year-old.
Happy bleeping birthday to the FCC!
Happy birthday also to Paula Abdul of "American Idol" fame. Paula Abdul and the FCC are very different, of course. One's a TV judge known for wacky decisions and sometimes not making any sense at all. And the other one is Paula Abdul.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

You know how they say if you see only one movie this summer or read only one book this summer? That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to see one movie, read one book. Why push myself?
From the San Antonio Spurs, Tony Parker is here. Tony helped the Spurs win the NBA championship on Sunday and he's here tonight to brag about it.
Kim Kardashian is getting her own video game. If you're just sitting on your couch doing nothing all day, aren't you already playing the Kim Kardashian game?
Mattel introduced a new Barbie Doll called Entrepreneur Barbie. Barbie is ready to strike out on her own to achieve her career dreams. It's about time. She's like 80 years old. Entrepreneur is the job your cousin who sells weed claims to have at Thanksgiving dinner.

Late Night With Seth Meyers

The Smithsonian unveiled a 3-D printed sculpture of President Obama that is detailed enough to see his pores and wrinkles. The sculpture is so realistic that Joe Biden won’t leave it alone.
A Canadian woman was arrested for having an open container of liquor while driving Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s SUV. Although when Rob Ford’s in the car, anyone not smoking crack is legally considered a designated driver.
A Virginia woman on Tuesday graduated high school at the age of 111. She’s the first person to graduate high school and have her whole life behind her.

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