More Really Real Quotes by a Completely Insane Teacher

Remember just over a month ago when I listed a ton of ridiculous quotes by a particularly stupid teacher I have and told a un story about her? (If you don't remember click that link and learn all about it). 

Yeah, well, in the month sense then even more insane crap has gone down. I've been absent from that class for this month, but for a legit reason, I'm editing videos for the class, so yeah, I get to go off and be in a different room. Quite fun. But the insanity hasn't stopped, and there's a whole new batch of stupid quotes collected by my classmates for you to read and enjoy:

• “Also my husband died of job stress, that’s what caused his cancer. But thats not what this is about.”
• “Cute, little poor people.” 
• “I have it on a flash.”
• Referring to a flash drive. 
• “Do any of you know how to video?” 
• “Does anybody know how to make a powerpoint?”
• “You people are like my garden, I never know what seeds I plant are gonna grow. Now seriously where is Pandora?”
• “I see phones. Mommy isn’t clueless.”
• “There must be a budding theologian in this room or the Holy Spirit wouldn’t have made me give that speech.” 
• "If your grandma can be this close, God can be this close."
• Said while standing menacingly over a student, with her hands raised. 
• “I used to spray water at students. Most of the time I don’t pick on women though because they hold grudges.”
• “We bought him pacman so he could visualize the chemo eating the cancer.”
• This is my favorite. 
• “If you’re not watching this power point you’re flipping off Jesus” 
• “WHO IS BARACK OBAMA!” 
• "On Halloween I go around and spook my friends."
• "I'm going to take attendance and that's going to be really hard so you can do something else for a while."
• “You can really sleep for years if you want to.”
• “Don’t worry if you fall asleep during a meditation, that happens sometimes.”
• She then pours water on a student after falling asleep in her meditation.
• “She’s at the end of her road, the ra ra end of your life Auschwitz kind of life”
• Referring to a lady that threw up when she brushed her teeth
• “If I was that backpack I’d be in pain.” 
• “This is change. This is the way of the world, people.”
• Said after switching desks around for the 3rd time of the week
• “What the helk?” 
• “We have a street-sweeper God…”
• “How do you spell squeeze? I don’t think I have ever spelt or typed out that word before. That looks cool!”
• "Today's point is to get you to understand- I'm sorry, I won't use that language- invite you to understand..."
• “If they take me in for teaching Sacraments….. I’ll take it.”
• Talking about using more than 59 seconds of a copyrighted video 
• “I don’t really wanna hear this right now, soo yyeeaaaaaa I’m just gunna not”
• “Heaters are free and can catch on fire”
• "Math. I get it, that's real. Science, that's real for some reason too."
• “I’ll just watch my kid run out in the street and get hit by a car. I could stop him, but I’ll just let him get hit.”
• “Now I have some fat people dancing.”
• “A gun to the head would have been doing them a favor.”
• “That’s what she said.... I’m referring myself as she.” 
• “Why doesn’t someone who doesn’t want to be here go and ask the guys in the other room how to do this.” 
• “I hate to tell ya this, but I’m not God.” 

I'm sure I'll be back in another month with even more, so stay tuned.