The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
- A movie about zombies, "Resident Evil: Retribution," opens today. People become zombies after an experimental medical program goes awry and mutants become undead, bent on destroying the world. Or as Republicans call it, Obamacare.
- I don't know much about zombies other than they eat brains and they love dancing to "Thriller."
- My favorite zombie movie of recent years is "28 Days Later." It introduced the concept of fast zombies, zombies that could run. It was the first horror movie to mix zombies with cocaine.
- The term "zombie" is used to describe people who are controlled by a mysterious power no one understands. Like people who shop at Trader Joe's.
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
- It was just announced that President Obama and Paul Ryan will speak at the AARP’s annual meeting next week. Yeah, they’re expected to face some tough questions, such as, “Huh?”
- A farmer in New York has grown a 1,200-pound pumpkin that he takes care of for six hours a day. Even the pumpkin is like, "Anyone else want to hang out with this guy?"
- Happy Birthday to Prince Harry, who will turn 28 years old tomorrow. And if you want to get him a gift — you can’t go wrong with pants.
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